13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do Summary

 

 
One sentence summary: To help parents avoid becoming an impediment to their children's intellectual, behavioural, and emotional success, 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don't Do outlines techniques to cultivate the appropriate thinking patterns.

Every parent wants the best for their kid. Nowadays, parenting is more of a case of doing too much than not enough. We've all come across parents who are always on the lookout for signs of trouble for their children, and who immediately intervene to save them from harm.

Because of this sort of parenting, children become people who are unable to cope with the difficulties of life on their own. So, how can we prevent it?

There are many "How-to" books on parenting. While knowing what behaviours we should and should not teach our children is critical, Amy Morin, a psychologist and author of the book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do, says it is equally important. The first step in raising mentally strong kids is to look at our own bad habits.

You'll learn how to avoid common parenting mistakes in "13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don't Do" by reading Morin's book and following his advice.

In this book, there are simply three wonderful parenting lessons:

1. It's important to teach children to take ownership of their actions instead of blaming others for their misfortune.

2. Expecting your child to be flawless or stepping in every time they make a mistake will only frustrate them.

3. Parents who are mentally strong act in accordance with their beliefs.

Prepare yourself for some life-changing advice on how to be a better parent! Get ready!

Lesson #1: Teach your child to accept responsibility and endure rather than being a victim of their circumstances or circumstances of their own making.

By setting an example for them, we can best educate our children. So, if you want to raise a mentally strong child, you must begin teaching them what it means to be mentally strong right now.You can accomplish this by not promoting a sense of victimhood.

Being protective of and standing up for our children after they've been mistreated is only natural. As long as you show kids that life's obstacles can be overcome, they won't see themselves as victims.

Here is a good illustration of what I mean: One of Morin's patients is Cody, a 14-year-old ADHD child. Despite the instructors' claims that the drug had improved his ability to focus and remain calm, his grades remained stagnant. His parents demanded that he be given less work than the other children, and the school agreed.Instead of his workload, it was a product of learned helplessness that was to blame. Because his parents instilled in him the notion that his ADHD rendered him unable, he came to feel that he had no control over the situation. Trying again and improving his grades was easy when they figured out the issue and made him feel capable of handling the duties.

In solid families, children are not afraid to take on responsibilities. Instead of blaming others for your child's misfortunes, hold him or her responsible for their actions. Allow kids to solve their own problems instead of always intervening, because this could make them blame others.

Lesson #2: Keep your expectations low and don't intervene every time they make a mistake.

Several parents see their children as an extension of their own identity. For many, pushing their loved ones to achieve in areas they didn't is a way to heal previous hurts. Your child's mental health will suffer if you put too much pressure on them. Their trust in your affection is shaken if they think it's contingent on them doing everything perfectly all the time.

If you don't want children to lose their self-esteem over errors, encourage them to strive for excellence rather than perfection. Be careful not to be overly critical of others. According to Morin, it's possible to deliver a sandwich of praise, criticism, and praise. "Wow, that's a lot of work! You've done a great job decluttering the playroom! It's not perfect, but you did an excellent job of cleaning up your markings. "

Kids don't learn to bounce back when they make a mistake because adults micromanage and overstep, which is counterproductive. Helicopter parenting leaves children unable to make their own choices and unable to take care of their own needs with maturity. These young people are more prone to suffering from mental illness, physical illness, and substance abuse.

As opposed to doing this, teach children to focus on how they can overcome challenges instead. You may help your youngster understand that no one is perfect by sharing stories of how you overcame adversity.

Lesson #3: They only do things that are consistent with their teachings and beliefs.

We, as parents, tend to become bogged down in the issues that arise on a daily basis. But how often do we take a step back and ask ourselves whether we're teaching our children the proper lessons? After being detected cheating, a 15-year-old high school student, Kyle, was expelled from his advanced school programme. When he was a kid, his parents couldn't figure out what was wrong with him.

Kyle's parents appeared to place a high value on academic success, often braggadozing about Kyle's accomplishments to close friends and family members. A good reputation and good grades were more important to him than being honest and trustworthy with his family. He had been taught to avoid failure at all costs, and they understood this in counselling.

If you want to establish the values you want to impart on your children, it's crucial to stress them via your actions rather than your words. According to a poll conducted in 2014, eighty percent of kids say that their parents place a higher value on success than on compassion.

Family values may be reinforced by creating a family mission statement. Make a concise statement about what's most important to your family with the help of your family's values. Keep a copy of it visible.

Explaining to children why you do good things may help teach values early on. You may explain that you're preparing supper for a sick neighbour because it's vital to do nice things for others. As a result of everything you've done, your kid will learn that we can use what we have to improve the world around us.